After my BSC in nursing, I moved back to Nigeria to explore my options, communication between Dele and I grew stronger
He was a very good male friend. I loved the idea of being able to share everything with him and vise versa. We had long talks over the phone about life, education, business proposals and over the years he was my strength at moving forward in life as well as embracing little talents such as writing.
Our relationship blossomed into something great, and just for those of u wondering with ur mouths opened, there was no attraction whatsoever He was just a chill friend to hang out with and learn from.
When Dele got married I was so happy for him; his wife was perfectly ok with our friendship.
His wife, Linda was obviously a beautiful lady so she wasn’t threatened by me.
When i met Linda, it was like we knew each other a while. We shared so many similarities {shoes and purses} as well as different personalities; we still got along and eventually became good friends over the years.
I love the fact that she is very ambitious; which is not exactly a very common trait you find in a Nigerian woman.
Linda was an over-achiever and even when she got married, she didn’t know how to take a breather or balance both work and family.
Dele was making good money as a real estate agent; she didn’t have to work so hard but With Linda, it was different, not only did she work in the office every day, she brings work home most nights and weekends
So this is my question,?
at what point do u draw the line?
Dele complained numerous times to me… he was fed up with her. He didn’t exactly have a problem with her ambitious quality; but he felt family should come first. Even though I agreed with him, most of the time, I dismissed his opinion stating the obvious which was he needed to learn to compromise and talk to Linda about his concerns and not me.
Dele hated the fact that the maid did practically everything in the house. Linda rarely cooks, almost never takes time off to spend quality time with him except on holidays such and Christmas and Even the intimacy wasn’t exactly fort coming according to Dele.
Knowing how much of a romantic Dele was with women from his past, I thought Linda was pushing it; a guy like Dele needs attention, affection, love and romance. Infact, every marriage should have those qualities. Even though I am in full support of women in our society getting back their voice and pursuing their careers, I still love the whole traditional idea of marriage. A woman should always find time for her husband/family no matter the situation. When a job begins to cut into family time and there is no way possibly to work around it then quit. Family comes first.
I knew Dele wasn’t happy. I tried talking to Linda a couple of times about Dele’s concerns but her reaction was anger and bitterness and gradually I found my self causing a wedge in their marriage so I immediately backed out.
Dele and I didn’t talk much about his problems after Linda’s blow out; we still kept in touch but family was never a part of our conversation.
After a couple of months Dele called to say Linda was expecting… I couldn’t be happier.
From my experience as a nurse I know that a mothers instincts kicks in when she finds out she is pregnant so I was happy that at-least Linda would take a break from work.
Dele was so excited to start a family; that meant so much to him.
Everything went fine between them for a while, but a few months to delivery; they left for the UK to have the baby.
On dec 2nd, rotimi was born he was indeed a bundle of joy to the family.
Just a few weeks later dele called me, he didn’t sound so happy so we met up somewhere to talk.
He was so furious, I calmed him down and eventually he tells me that Linda got a job offer with an accounting firm in the UK and has decided to move there and take on the offer.
First word that drops from my mouth is “what about the baby?”
Dele went ahead to tell me that her plan was that she was going to leave the baby with her mom and the house-help and also, her company has agreed to pay her flight and expenses once every month to see her baby and her family.
Honestly, I didn’t know what to say.; Linda wasn’t going to change her mind and I didn’t want to get involved. I consoled Dele and asked him to give her time; she might come around.
Eventually Linda stood by her words… she left the country not caring what anyone’s opinion was.
Dele obviously didn’t believe in divorce so he sucked it up. Dele did pretty well at being a part-time stay At home Dad.
I Also dropped in once in a while to check up on baby Rotimi and help out with some baby sitting.
Even though linda’s mom wasn’t staying at the house, she comes in frequently to take care of the baby, bath him and give him some medications
I just couldn’t fathom how a mother can leave her first child in the hands of her mother who wasn’t doing that much of a great job and her house help.
Sometimes I don’t understand why house-helps make such low income in Nigeria when truly they do the entire job. These married women just take on the idea of being married and totally refuse to embrace the responsibilities. I knew the house help did an amazing job; baby Rotimi looked very healthy and happy and I was pleased.
Something wasn’t right; Dele stopped calling me. Most days I go to check up on the baby, and the atmosphere seem so different. The house help is looking so beautiful.
Sometimes she, dele and the baby are in the sitting room playing. And it just didn’t seem right.
One day I took my dog to the park for a walk…and from Distance I notice Dele being really familiar with a young lady and Baby Rotimi…I came a little closer and to my surprise, it was the house-help.
I’m a women, I knew there was something fishy going on. Dele always had on a pretty face, I knew when his face was a little over pretty; it was more like a suspicious “shinning of the teeth”. It was so clear to me that Dele wasn’t only cheating; he was doing it with the house help
It wasn’t my place to say anything to the wife; even though I frown at cheating, she was partly the cause of this one…
I still did my “once in a while” visit to Dele’s home to check on the baby. As soon as I know that the baby is ok, I say my goodbyes and leave. Since Dele wasn’t willing to tell me the truth, I wasn’t going to force it out of him…
A month later Dele called. We talked about a lot of thingS and stylishly he sneaked in a really weird question. He said “is there a drug to take to prevent the possibility of pregnancy”.?
I asked why he wanted to know and he said a friend of he’s is trying to take precaution with his wife and that they are not ready to start a family.
First of all, I thought to myself, who was he lying to? I knew he was lying. The panic in his voice sold him out. I told him all I knew about was birth control pills and I didn’t push further.
It was 12am at night, After a very long day at work, I got woken up by dele, he called about a million times but I was asleep. What was he doing calling me so late I said to myself. Before I could hit redial, his call started coming in again.. When I eventually picked up he was crying and saying he is dead, I asked what was going on but he couldn’t really say much.
I quickly got into my car, tried calming him down over the phone until I got to his place, first thing I see was drops of blood down the stirs to Dele’s bedroom.
He took me into his room and there his house-help was, in a pool of her own blood and had absolutely no life in her.
I started freaking out and cursing at Dele. I quickly grabbed the baby into the car and told dele to help me with the house-help. We quickly drove to the hospital and on the way Dele was crying and trying to narrate what had happened to me. My only concern at that moment wasn’t even his tears, I just needed to drive as fast as I can to the hospital and prevent Dele from having a sentence of first-degree murder
Well, to cut the long story short, she survived.
Apparently my suspicions were correct, she got pregnant and they tried taking it out the traditional way.
At the end of the day I am happy the house-girl survived, but I cant get the situation out of my head,
Who do u blame? Do u blame the man for cheating? or the woman for abandoning her young marriage for a career?
My opinion is this: married women should stay in their homes. If you want to be selfish and think about just yourself, remain single.
I got this from a friend
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